I’ve been carrying the gnawing feeling around for days
And, of course,
Because you’re some kind of mind reader,
You knew something was up.
“Oh my gosh, just tell me”
“You’ll feel so much better, I promise”
“I would never judge you”
So I did.
I told you how scared I was
Because this was a point beyond what I’ve ever experienced,
Because relationships end, moments are fleeting,
Everything is temporary,
And love only lasts in fairy tales.
They always move on to find someone better,
And I’ve never really minded before now
Because I’ve never attached myself to anything.
It’s just easier that way.
But holy fuck I’m stuck on him like super glue on an art project,
And when you try to pull that super glue off,
There’s always some left on there,
No matter how carefully you attempt to separate the two.
And that analogy foreshadows my future heart break
And I’m trying to defend myself early for this reason.
I’ve tried to throw my walls back up
But he successfully broke them down
And that’s gonna take years of repair if he drops the pieces he took.
You giggled and told me,
“You just think too much”.
I do think too much.
I think that I’m made up of more scar tissue than skin
And no matter how many times I have to put myself back together
It’s never gonna get easier
Because I keep losing pieces of myself
And after a while, you can’t put a puzzle back together
When enough pieces are missing
Because you can’t see what the picture is even supposed to resemble.
I don’t want to be a broken puzzle.
I’ve never been good at putting them back together.