Master of Disguise

One thing I remember about you
Is that your favorite childhood game was pretend.
That’s all you ever wanted to play.
Something about that attracted you didn’t it?
Being someone other than yourself
It makes sense.

Ten years later and you hadn’t stopped
You had gotten quite good at it, too
Your smile was a beautiful day
Full of laughter and limitless optimism
You know, your persona was the envy of your friends
You were the kind of person everyone wanted to be around

Did they know there was a shipwreck in your soul?

Did they know of your nights:
Screaming matches with the moon
Stubborn feet refusing to obey your seasick core
Scorched lungs and burning oxygen
The lingering promise of death between your fingers?

Couldn’t they see your hesitation
Behind every “I’m fine”?
Didn’t they realize why you hated socializing?
Why you wore so many bracelets?
Why you were never hungry?
Why you never cried?
Didn’t they understand you were running out of tears?
That you were sinking into the sea of misery?

Of course they didn’t.
You should have gotten an Oscar
For your flawless performance

There was an ocean in your heart
And it took me years to understand your kind of drowning

Now it’s too late.



About savannahlyn

I write to articulate what my tongue cannot
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